I’m back from my vacation away from the blog and social media. It’s been a great two months away. I’ve learned a lot about this thing called blogging and social media --- in particular I’ve learned a lot about my social influence. I was doing it entirely wrong.
I was trying to gain social influence by engaging people on twitter, facebook, Google Plus, Klout, blog commenting platforms and all the latest “tools” introduced for social media, but all I really needed to do was to turn my head away from the computer. When I did that there were two smiling faces wanting to put together a puzzle with me, their daddy.
I know this is going to sound cheesy and cliché, but the only social influence that I should give a damn about is my kids. In the last two months I have worked on my social influence with my kids. It was hard to do. My social influence sucked. When things got tough I wanted to run to my laptop to hide and involve myself with the latest twitter happenings. But with a little patience, not just from myself but patience from my kids as well, the three of us have been able to influence each other. It’s a work in progress, but I’d rather be doing this than sitting on my ass on twitter trying to be witty with a bunch of people I don’t know or should care about all that much.
Please understand I do plan on using twitter in the future and I have met people through twitter that I have an interest in and care about (you know who you all are. There‘s only about a dozen of you). I’m just done using twitter as a means to beg people to “please, read my latest crap blog post”.
Lesson 1: Social influence starts at home
I’m also done reading all the arbitrary “how to be a better blogger” posts. Who the hell made up these rules anyway? All of these posts are the same shit, different blogger trying to get traffic from new bloggers trying to learn how to make it rich by blogging about themselves.
Here’s a list of what you will learn from every single “how to blog” article.
Write good content - No shit! Really? I thought I could write drivel that everyone else is writing about and make it big….oh wait…never mind.
Engage on twitter.
Comment on other blogger blog posts.
Respond to comments on your blog.
Blah, blah, blah…what the other blogger said.
Lesson 2: You don’t have to follow the rules to blogging, BECAUSE THEY ARE MADE UP.
Here’s some advice you won’t find on those shitty “how to blog” posts, write as if no one is reading.
It’s like the saying, “sing/dance as if no one is watching you”. Write as if no one is reading what you’re writing. Meaning, if you don’t think anyone is watching/listening/reading, then your true self will show. If you write for yourself and no one else, your writing will be more truthful, thoughtful and meaningful. In turn you will enjoy what you’re doing and that my friend will show through to the people that are watching/listening/reading and they will enjoy what you’re doing just as much as you are.
No you’re not, dickhead. You’re fucking tweeting about it and then replying to the people replying to your tweet about all the fun you’re having with your kid.
What the hell did you do? Press pause on your kids to tweet about it. How did this thought process go?
You were wrestling around with little Timmy on the floor when all of a sudden the thought crossed your mind that the 1000 people who follow you on twitter would love to know how much fun you’re having with your kid wrestling. If you tweet about it they’ll know just how much you love your kid, how fun and great of a parent you are. And everyone will want to read your blog because you showed everyone how fucking cool you are by wrestling with your kid on the floor. “Oh my god, this could be my break-out tweet that gets me noticed. Hang on Timmy. Daddy needs to tweet this. I’ll be right back.”
Lesson 3: If you’re playing with your kids, don’t stop to tweet about it. Your kids don’t care who follows you on twitter or whether or not @DaddyDoucheBag and @MommyIgnoresHerKids10HrsADay knows that you’re playing with them.
Welcome back. I got to go and feed the kids now.
